A poem [Trigger Warning - Suicide, Self Harm, Loss]
Gravity Frozen in this moment, three days have passed and I didn’t even feel a single rotation of the planet.
and I was pulled back by a force stronger than gravity to a time that left me reeling in his wake
A blinding flash A heat of a love that burned too hot for either of us and threw me to my knees with a great resounding percussion of drums that silence a beating heart.
Three days I’ve been stuck in a time that never truly belonged to us, yet shaped us.
Three days frozen by a pain that held him captive for thirty years. Frozen, yet I know
I will rise again and find myself moving forward
on wings he showed me I had.
~ wjm Sept. 2011
Another poem pulled from the archives at my old blog. This one was written 7 years ago this week. The first few days of September I still think of him, my friend who ended his own life. My first experience of deep romantic love, back in high school, was with this amazing individual who taught me so much. From my sheltered naivety, he brought me an awareness that would set me on a path quite different than what I had imagined for myself. Shane, I miss you. 7 years have passed, but you're still a part of my life. Forever. If you want to read more, this is the blog post I wrote 7 years ago while in mourning. I share more details about my own story, and Shane's role within it. It's not an easy read. Trigger Warning for mentions of suicide, depression, r*pe, and self-harm. http://tarotmom.blogspot.com/2011/09/in-remembrance.html
and this blog post written by my brother (in relation to the above link) http://tarotmom.blogspot.com/2011/09/my-brothers-letter.html
. . . and, one more poem I wrote that week Wrung Out
A twist, my heart is wrung like a dishcloth,
A pain too strong and real, much more than expected…
But it purifies.
…twist and squeeze and drain the dirty water away. And then I can dry out in the sun, remembering the moon.